The Mind of the Home Owners Association

Today we received a letter in the mail from our home owners association.  They have been going around our neighborhood wielding digital cameras and taking photos of any violations.  So in these letters, they paste the photo and explain the violation.  At the end of the letter they give you a 15 day window to fix the issue.  Not too long ago we got a letter for our mailbox being in violation of code.  It needed to be painted so they said.  Me, I just got a rag and some Simple Green and problem solved.  This issue, from our latest letter, not so easy.

Dear Homeowner(s)

Specifically, it was reported/observed that your lawn has a large bare area and erosion.  Per the Neighborhood HOA governing documents, Declarations, Part I, Section 1.6, “It shall be the responsibility of each Property Owner…blah, blah, blah…

So, this bare spot is on the edge of my property and on a nice size slope.  Rain of any amounts will cause the soil to slide down and run into the street.  The problem is however with my neighbors lawn.  See, the so called violation is only on, lets say 5% of my property.  I have laid sod down only to be covered by my neighbors runoff.  I have raked and re-seeded only to be covered by my neighbors run off.  I have raked re-seeded and covered in peat-moss only to be covered by my neighbors run off.  See the similarities.

So I called the association and explained the situation.  I told them about all the attempts that failed.  Told them how my neighbor doesnt take care of his lawn AT ALL.  Her solution to the problem was to have a neighborhood volunteer day to help me out.  HELL NO!  I dont need no neighborhood volunteers to tell me how to landscape or pitch in cause we’re neady or something.  That was kinda a slap in the face.

Solution 1- Grow grass, its roots will hold the soil thus preventing erosion.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Association Committee, our county is in a mandatory water restriction.  We can only use water inside the house and will be fined if used otherwise.  So, how do I grow grass without water?????

Solution 2- Mulch it Mr. Homeowner.

Mulch it?  Mulch is wood, wood floats, rain is water and water makes wood float, wood floats away and soil begins to erode again.  NOPE!

Solution 3- Gravel

Seriously, gravel?  NO COMMENT.

So all these suggestions I am required to get a permit to do.  These were suggestions from the HOA and yet I have to still write a statement with photos and measurements on what I plan to do.  So the HOA is suggesting that I submit a statement on their own suggestions.  WHY?

I plan on building on my 5% of the problem a nice riverstone retaining wall with ivy running over the edge.  Some small shrubs and a few perennials.  The ivy, shrubs and perennials will hold the soil with the roots.  PROBLEM SOLVED!

Oh and I still have to submit my professional idea to the HOA.  I cant get started until they approve it or thats a violation of code.  So a simply stone wall with an old English appeal has to be submitted even though a few houses down someone has a bed of red mulch with rotten Poplar stumps as decoration????

Gonna move up to the country, paint my mail box blue

Put some flowers on it baby, paint some trailin vines and dew.

-Taj Mahal

Oh I almost forgot, I emailed the association and told them that our front entrance did not have the proper annuals installed for the spring and summer.  They had leftover pansies from the fall.  Me being involved with landscapers, the contracts they sign are for spring flowers and fall flowers.  With the spring flowers not being installed, someone is cutting corners.  Wonder who?

Look for photos coming soon!

Sorry for the rant, I had to get that off my chest!

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2 Responses to The Mind of the Home Owners Association

  1. Todd says:

    I remember the first house in a planned neighborhood and the HOA, specifically I had DISH network installed and the only placement for the dish was in the front yard by the other utility boxes for cable and telephone. Boy did the HOA have a field day with that one until I not so gently pointed out that placement of satellite dishes is protected under Federal law and HOA’s cannot dictate whatsoever! LMAO!!

    • Good one Todd. I love finding a good loophole. HOA’s have a mall cop syndrome of sorts. I hate em, however an HOA can keep school buses and dump trucks from parking on our streets. They are good for something, but not much of something.

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